spent our first day cash only and we ran through $80 in two hours but I have a much needed new bathroom door and a pretty good lunch (with leftovers) to show for it. Normally, I wait until the end of the month to be all confused at the whereabouts of our money today I got to see how far it doesnt go and that means we have some hard choices. We cant afford to be dropping $20 bucks on lunch and we usually do that twice on the weekends. Seeing how fast it goes as it happens really makes an impact so much so that I decided to tally up our last 3 months of eating out. Drum roll please........$2100. its not a typo. Brutal truth #2 We could have paid off our car with that money. we have nothing to show for what we spent. Oh...sanity where for art thou. we wont be doing that this month.

I like quite a few others tivo'd the william and kate party. loved the dress and then spent most of the afternoon pondering the idea that the newly hitched couple never have to worry about money, careers or bills.... ever. I want that freedom. Its been so long since our money has been ours. Even better than that is the fact that I have been the sole money manager, brillant husband makes the dough and I make it into bread, only it turns out I cant bake. So I start small. I want to only use cash until the 15th rather I dont wish to be a contestant on beat the bank this month and in order to do that we have to track ourselves. still dont have a grand debt total, not looking yet. sad but true. Here is brutal truth #1. we have played the dont ask dont tell game at my house. my beloved knows we are in debt but doesnt really want to know...ya feel me? yep, its like that.

I hope to eventually post the specifics (once I actually know them) until then just think of it as getting to experience the anticpation of christmas morning. I can assure you it will be well worth the wait. What? you cant wait you say? Snack on this for a few. My husband used to make $80K a year, changed careers and now we live on a little less than half but it didnt matter even at 80K we didnt do what grown folk should do and at $37 we dont do what we must do. Our lives have been excessive. I almost cringe to say this but we dont even keep track of our check book. We run it mentally (eye roll). We have been poor, well off and in between and it never really changes. Im convinced of this- it is not about money. The money is just saying whats going on inside. However, regardless of what cant be seen, we have little ones and this isnt okay to live like this anymore. Hold on to your weaves, hats and unbrellas its going to get rough. Tommorow is payday and so it begins.